A Tale of Two Ex Girlfriends

The most ironic part of trying to win back the love of a boyfriend is that it’s really not all that difficult. The hardest part is really knowing what to do and sticking to it. That part requires a diminutive bit of faith and a whole lot of self-control, because it commonly means not talking to, emailing, text-messaging, or otherwise harassing the guy who just dumped you.

Want a good example? Take the two stories below: two dissimilar girls with radically dissimilar approaches, both of them starting off in the same situation.

Melissa’s boyfriend dumped her without much of a reason, telling her that things just weren’t working out. She cried for a while, and then she got angry. After several hours of demanding to know why, she got very diminutive in the way of answers. By the time she went home that night, she was an emotional wreck.

All the next day, Melissa kept calling her ex demanding to know why he didn’t want to see her anymore. After the third call, he stopped picking up the phone. At this point she began sending him text-messages, each one nastier than the last. Hours later with no answers, she locked herself in her room and spent the rest of the night crying her eyes out.

By day three, Melissa knew what to do. She wrote her ex a genuine,sincere letter, apologizing for all of the things she ever did wrong. She promised to change, and told him things would be different. Then she drove to her ex boyfriend’s job and left the note on his car. Hours went by, and she still hadn’t heard anything. By nightfall, she drove to his house and barged in on his family eating dinner. She begged him to take her back, and reduced herself to a sobbing mess in front of her embarrassed ex boyfriend’s whole family. Nothing worked. In the end, her ex moved on and she was left hating him for “what he did” to her.

Now let’s take Jennifer. Her boyfriend also ended things between them, and Jennifer sadly suitable it. She gave her ex a hug and wished him well, then went home and called up some friends. They came over not just to console her, but to cheer her up. They ended up going out and doing a bunch of fun stuff that made kept her mind off the fact that she’d just been dumped.

Over the next day or two, Jennifer did her best to enjoy her friends and family. She’d decided not to let the end of her connection drag her down. Suddenly faced with a lot of free time, she ended up a bunch of projects she’d been working on and started going back to the gym. A week went by, and then she noticed a missed call from her ex boyfriend. In his message, he’d asked how she’d been doing and what she’d been up to. Shrugging, Jennifer erased it and went out that night.

A few days later, her ex boyfriend showed up at Jennifer’s house. He told her he’d been thinking a lot about what happened, and that he was sorry for ending things. He missed her, and wanted to know if she still loved him. They talked for a while, and both of them admitted that there might be ways to work things out. Together they agreed to shape out the things that were missing for their relationship, so that they could still have fun and make it work.

Now, which of these approaches required the most time and effort? Which of these girls worked harder to get back their ex boyfriend? Exactly.

Sometimes, as the saying goes, less is more. In learning how to get back together with an ex boyfriend, there are right and wrong ways of going about it. How successful you are doesn’t always depend on how much you want it – but on how much you’re willing to let go for a while.